That moment when you realize you’ve been quietly curated out of someone’s life. They stop liking your pictures, engaging and adding feedback to your posts. They don’t seem to notice or respond when you comment on their content. Even when you mail them actual cards for special occasions…crickets. You also noticed that you didn’t receive a holiday card from them this past year. Ouch!
You’ve thought about trimming down your list of social “friends,” too, because maybe that acquaintance of a friend you had drinks with at that one mixer doesn’t need to see your kids or daily feed. It makes sense to tidy up your contacts at least annually. What hurts is when you’re on the receiving end of the tidying...from people you once referred to as “best friend.” It happens, I suppose. Life gets busy. People grow apart. But realizing that you’ve been completely written out of someone’s narrative is a hard pill to swallow.
People make new friends, join new circles, take up new hobbies. But it’s those OG friends who truly see us, know who we are, where we came from and what we’ve been through...because they were there. They saw it and experienced it, too. You know their truth and they know yours. How could that be tossed aside? How could they have so much space for everyone else? It feels like a break up. It cuts deep and doesn’t seem fair.
Maybe your success is hard for them to see while they’re struggling. Maybe it’s easier to unplug from your static so that they can focus on their own growth. Maybe they found a safe circle of supportive people who live around the corner and can show up for them when things get hard. Maybe you’re different people now. Maybe being your friend is too much work. Maybe you’re high maintenance. Maybe they can’t see your struggle through the fog of their own. Maybe it was time.